Missing Terry Pratchett

I know some people won’t understand why I’m in mourning over a person I never met, never laid actual eyes on and only talked to via the internet, but Terry Pratchett was important to me.  Discworld was always a place I could go when the round world was too harsh. I could always trust Terry to make me laugh and make me think and give me a happy ending which is really important when you haven’t had many of your own. I've read his books multiple times because they bring me that much joy. Discworld is where I went to forget what a mess I am.

I know first hand that life isn't fair, but when I see evil bastards living and flourishing (like a certain ex-vice president I won’t name) spreading their contemptible shit storms around the earth while someone talented and good and moral is taken away, it makes me want to scream at the sky. I guess I've moved out of denial and right into anger, but neither of those are unusual states for me. I wish Terry Pratchett could have lived to write the next 30 or 40 books he had inside himself, but that won’t happen now.  One of my safe places is gone.

Last night I couldn't fall asleep until after four this morning.  I cried like this when my dad died. I can’t breathe cuz my nose is all stuffy and the dogs think I've lost my mind. I’m disgusted with this so-called circle of life because it entails too much pain and suffering.

Who’s responsible for creating this stupid life? It’s all made up of missing dead people.  You have people, you love them, you care about them and they are important to you and your happiness; then they grow old and die and sometimes they don’t even get the chance to grow old. They just die and you never see them again. You spend all this time wondering if death is the end and let’s face it, it probably is. Do chickens go to heaven?  Is there an afterlife for a beef cow? If there isn't one for them then there’s probably not for you and me either. Our vanity and pain makes us hope for something else.

I've said a hundred times that when I die, I want to go to Discworld. Someone female needs to infiltrate Unseen Academy and I think that somebody could be me. I don’t have a lot of faith that there’s an afterlife, but I do have hope that there may be. I think I’ll keep my plan to go to Discworld when I make my final exit. If you’d like, you can look for me there.  If you can’t find me at UU, check the Ramtops. I've always loved the mountains. I already have friends there; they just don’t know me yet.